Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
