I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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