if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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