Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
