glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
