I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
