i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Green mimosas i think yes
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
