So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
