The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
