Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
