I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize
