i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
