You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
