I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
