Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
