so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
