Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
