I'm gonna have a badass scar
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
