Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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