will power is for people who don't want to get laid
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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