she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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