She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
