I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
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