could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
so much tequila, so little girl.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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