I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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