last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
