We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
