No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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