His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
