Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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