I think I just saw someone hide a body.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
