Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
