and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I want to make a zoo with you.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
