I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Best friends brother. Beat that.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
