i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You can't just leave with hair like that
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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