I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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