She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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