On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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