just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
