I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
