in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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