one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
They are going to name an STD after you.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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