it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
