you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
