i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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