we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
