i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Randomize
