i just google imaged poop.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
