I wanna bring you to show and tell
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
