I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
